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Mrs. Pasini
Why are we reading and hearing so much about bullying these days? A rash of school shootings has rocked our nation, scared our communities and made us all take a long overdue look at how our children are growing up today. Research now tells that a common link in all of these tragedies is that the “shooters” had all been long-standing victims of bullying by peers. Their unresolved feelings of ridicule and hurt literally exploded in violence.
What we also know for sure is that bullying is about dominance or power and control and a lack of empathy. It is intentional, repeated, hurtful and committed by one or more persons against another. There are many different ways to bully but the goal is always the same – dominance/power/control.
How can adults help?
- Our children learn how to interact with others from parents, siblings, relatives and neighbors. They learn from watching strangers in life, on television or in the movies. Make sure that the people who are influencing, molding and shaping them are positive influences. Life presents many “teachable” moments.
- Watch your children at play. Listen to what they are saying.
- Sit down and talk with them. Ask them what role do they play? Are they a bully? Do they intentionally select people to victimize to feel powerful? Are they a victim? Do they have a difficult time recognizing their strengths? Are they a bystander? Do they ignore, encourage or allow a bullying incident to happen? By not taking action to stop a bullying incident they are letting the bully know that these actions are acceptable or appropriate.
- Let your children know that it is never acceptable for anyone to intimidate, threaten or make another person feel badly about themselves.
- Encourage your children to tell. Tell you. Tell the principal or assistant principal. Tell their teacher. Tell their coach. Tell the counselor. Tell somebody. Make sure they get the help they need. Do not be a bystander.
Bullying is not a normal part of growing up! No one has the right to hurt you mentally or physically.
